OM™
Before we begin, let’s all get on the same page. Literally.
Open the cover of the October 2009 issue of Yoga Journal. Got the issue? Yes, it’s a couple months back, but I know you keep them around for reference. I keep my back issues next to the toilet.
Cover open yet? OK, so what you see there is a two-page advertisement, bottles with labels on the left page, and on the right, a woman in white seated in lotus with hands in jnana-mudra, and the text below her urging you to FIND YOUR BALANCE WITH AVEDA’S CHAKRA™ BALANCING BODY MISTS.
The first time I noticed this ad, I cannot recall what made me exclaim OMG! (short for “OM Ganesha!”) first, but I’ll begin with this: Someone actually trademarked an ancient word that is likely no less than 6,000 years old? I believe Aveda has just broken some Cosmic Law by attempting to own the word CHAKRA™. Does this mean yoga teachers in this country can no longer use the word in classes without permission? Imagine that, the teacher addresses the class during a sun salutation: “Inhale…open up that heart chakra™, used with permission, to upward facing dog, and exhale….”
No, of course that’s not what it means because Aveda doesn’t own the word itself. I recently employed TESS (Trademark Electronic Search System), who works for the US Patent and Trademark Office. TESS , in a matter of seconds, found 144 records to my simple query: CHAKRA.
At this point I must note that the first record listed was a word mark for CHAKRA™ with a Goods & Services description of “Pesticides.” Yikes.
But back to Balancing Body Mists of the CHAKRA™ variety. The Aveda Corporation only owns the word’s use in relation to “personal hygiene products, namely total body cleaning preparations, perfumes, colognes, massage oils and lotions, skin lotion, and hydrating skin moisturizers.” It simply means I can’t concoct a lotion or perfume and call it CHAKRA™. I’d run into legal problems, especially if I tried to sell my new perfume. As sad as it is, ALL words, even ancient spiritual words, are subject to legal scrutiny. We live in ridiculously litigious times, but understandably, if you don’t trademark a word first, someone else will, so then it becomes a necessity to protect yourself from getting screwed down the road.
Aveda’s CHAKRA™ Balancing Body Mists come in seven delectable scents, according to the advertisement. Makes sense: the seven major chakras™. (I am now in the habit of using ™ behind the word even if referring to the actual energy centers and not the body sprays, in case Aveda is feeling particularly litigious at any point.) According the labels on the bottles in the ad, word for word:
CHAKRA™ 1: Grounded: what you feel when the root chakra is balanced.
CHAKRA™ 2: Nourished: what you feel when the pleasure chakra is balanced.
CHAKRA™ 3: Intention: what you feel when the power chakra is balanced.
CHAKRA™ 4: Harmony: what you feel when the heart chakra is balanced.
CHAKRA™ 5: Expressive: what you feel when the throat chakra is balanced.
CHAKRA™ 6: Insight: what you feel when the intuition chakra is balanced.
CHAKRA™ 7: Wisdom: what you feel when the crown chakra is balanced.
I have no worthwhile issues with Aveda’s descriptions. My main thought, initially, was: “What the f*%# am I practicing yoga for when all I have to do is pay $30.00 per 3.4 fluid ounce bottle and spritz myself every morning with each of the seven formulas to get all my energy centers in balance?” I wonder if any other YJ readers have asked themselves the same question, though maybe in a slightly gentler way. Why stand on my head when CHAKRA™ 7 Body Mist will put my crown in check?
Though I am aware of aromatherapy and its uses and effects, I was still curious how industrial cosmetics could wield so much pranic power. If only the ancient sages of India had those convenient little spritzer bottles…
I cautiously approached Aveda’s website, which explained that CHAKRA™ 1, for example, contains essences of olibanum, organic patchouli and vetiver that, according to Ayurveda (or is it Ayurveda™?), balance the root chakra™. The first customer review listed had this to report:
“I am new to yoga and the many different oils and sprays people use to enhance their yoga experience. The smell of the body mist is wonderful. I spray the room in which I do my yoga and I also spray some on my body. It is a very peaceful smell. I plan to try all the others. Thanks for a great product.”
I continued to read reviews of CHAKRA™ 1 and found myself dubiously shaking my head over people’s attachments to scent. Of course, we all can appreciate a whiff of something pleasant-smelling, but…well, here, another review: “This scent reminds me of whispering music. It fills my soul completely. The color red comes to mind when I spritz it onto my body and bask in its richness of the feeling I get when I walk through a rain filled forest.” Yes, that is an actual customer review on the website. It sounds like something I would write just to be a sarcastic jackass.
Makes you want to shell out 30 bucks for a hit off that spritzer, doesn’t it?
Many other reviews state that customers spray everything they can with the mists: sheets, towels, rooms in their homes, car interiors, clothes, their pets. This is the attachment to scent I’m talking about – everything has to be doused in the stuff.
Which brings me to a mention a short sidenote about Chakra 1 (the energy center, NOT the body mist, hence no ™ necessary): According to ancient texts and contemporary commentaries on ancient texts, individuals with unbalanced root chakras are prone to faulty senses of smell and often douse themselves profusely with perfumes or scented oils. These are the people who walk into a room and cause your eyes to burn, or place their mats next to yours in yoga class, wearing such strong perfume it is impossible to practice pranayama without gagging. (Most yoga studios suggest that students refrain from wearing perfumes or other scents when attending classes.) So I ask then, if you find you can’t help but spray yourself and everything round you with CHAKRA™ 1, is it truly balancing that chakra? Technically – or energetically, really – all seven of the CHAKRA™ sprays are working on that root chakra, as they all work through the sense of smell, which is the predominant sense associated with the Muladhara Chakra, that first chakra.
Please understand, I am in no way assaulting those of us who delight in the senses. Rather, I am volleying against those deviously clever marketers who take advantage of this. (I say this a bit hypocritically, as I will soon be releasing my new line of balancing sauces and tofu marinades, the first of which—Muladhara™ Marinade—will contain such pure essential, earthy ingredients as tree bark, organic potting soil and ostrich fern.)
Personally, I rarely wear any sort of scent aside from my daily ration of underarm deodorant, and I arrived at choosing that scent easily: it didn’t make me gag. Oh, and because, admittedly, I am no less subject to trendy marketing as anyone else despite this current rant of mine, I chose my deodorant due to its cool name: EXTREME BLAST™. Awesome, dude.
Returning once again from yet another tangent, I particularly appreciate this CHAKRA™ review: “If any one is new to this line, please realize that Aveda’s aromas are unique, and are not trying to be trendy and lolli-popish!” The practice of yoga and yogic philosophy are approximately 6,000 years old, but it is damn trendy at the moment, isn’t it? Six THOUSAND years it took just to arrive where it is today.
Ahhhh…Spray-on liberation of the soul from a company whose name in Sanskrit actually means “no knowledge” or “ignorance” as opposed to their claim translating it as “all knowledge.” Nevertheless, I’m off to the nearest Aveda Salon to get me some bottled bliss.
Swaha.


